What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 28.06.2025 08:25
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
How did you react when your doctor ordered a colonoscopy?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Make Nazis afraid again!
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
TEXT:
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority